Love Advice On How To Stop Relationship Drift

You know it happens in relationships and marriages all the time.  You were so close, but over the months or years the passion fades and things get a bit more stale and mechanical.  You both wonder what is happening to your love as your relationship seems to become more about the kids and making money and the burdens and responsibilities of life. 

Is this relationship “drift” normal, does it happen in all relationships, and can it be turned around?

Yes, it is normal in all long term relationships to experience relationship drift.   For one or both mates to notice a distance between them.  It is normal for the passion to fade and for responsibilities and burdens to replace the love and pleasure you used to take in each other.  It is normal, and it of course can be deadly to your marriage.  The less you enjoy and play with each other, the greater the chance for divorce or an affair.  What can you do?

Well, one of the top keys to a great relationship is PLAY.  In the beginning you played a lot with each other.  You went to movies, had sex, went out to eat, did lots of fun things together.  Then over time you stopped doing a lot of those things as you got caught up in the burdens and challenges of making a living and raising kids.  After several years many relationships and marriages have almost no play in them at all.

So one of the first, easiest things you can do to stop relationship drift is to bring back more play in your marriage.  Set up date nights where you spend some quality time doing things you both enjoy together.  You don’t have to have more than one date night a week, but just one can make a big difference.

Make this a special time where you don’t complain about work or talk about the kids or other family issues.  Make it a time to relax and enjoy the occasion and each other.  Focus on your partner and you having a good time. 

Another thing you can do to stop relationship drift is to find ways to keep sex from getting too mechanical.  You don’t have to wear a belly dancer outfit or try 1000 different positions.  Sex should be fun, not make you feel inadequate or ridiculous. 

But it also isn’t hard or difficult to keep sex from becoming stale.  One simple way to improve the quality of your sex life is to have sex when you both aren’t exhausted at the end of a day.  Schedule quality time when you both have energy.  Then, just take some of that energy and focus it on your partner.  You know what they might like, and when you have energy it is easy to spend some extra time on pleasing them.

Just these two insights can begin to turn around relationship drift.  Adding more play back into your love life can quickly improve your partnership.  Your mate is just like you in some ways. 

They want to have fun, feel appreciated, and feel like you are a special partner in their life.  Just ten minutes or so a day of extra focus on playing with them can make both of you feel special again in each other’s eyes.  

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