Love Advice - The First Phase of A Love Relationship, and What Goes Wrong With It!
The first phase is the Oceanic Love Phase. We see it more as the "There's Only You" phase. You know, at first, there is all this love and pleasure, we enjoy each other immensely, the sex is great, we find ways to spend lots of time together.
We are in what psychologists call the “oceanic love” phase of the relationship. It lasts six months or so, then we begin to move out of that phase. Pretty much everyone loves this phase, we feel so close and loved and merged with our partner.
During this phase we shower our partner with attention. We think about them a lot, write love notes, go out on romantic dates, tear off each others clothes and make passionate love a lot. It doesn't matter so much what we do together, just that we have plenty of time together.
This phase is everybody's favorite. We tend to feel very "merged" with our partner. We feel loved and loving and happy. We are definitely "in love." We actually experience a taste of "oceanic love."
This is a great phase, however, it sets up some problems that often will doom the relationship later on. The main issue is that we can't stay in the "There's Only You" phase. Won't happen. Can't happen. Doesn't happen. So in six months or a year, we will be out of this phase.
Then, instead of realizing it is normal to move out of the oceanic love phase, to not feel so merged with our partner, we can start to think something is wrong, something is missing. It's usually not, but people start fighting and ending relationships after the oceanic love phase ends. Instead, it helps if you understand that you are just moving into the next phase of relationship, which can be called the "Me/Us" phase.
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